I'm aching all over now. My feet hurt, my knees hurt, and my back is aching something terrible.
My housemate's friend of
ten years came over to London town from the States for his spring break, so we spent half the day walking around town, window-shopping and sight-seeing. And now I'm in pain, paying the price for a month of no exercise.
So this friend of my housemate, whom I shall call Sam (little boy from "Love Actually"), is crazy hilarious and several kinds of awesome. He gave bedroom advice to my housemate: "A guy's nipples are an often overlooked erogenous zone", and proceeded to give her stimulating techniques to be used on her boyfriend as we were walking along the road to Chinatown (apparently he had also taught her about hickeys). I blinked, half in fright, but mostly in laughing amazement. I'm a fairly open-minded girl, and totally believe in great male-female no-holds-barred trusting friendships. But in reality, sex always seems to be a taboo topic. It seemed almost shocking that here was finally a guy who is relaxed enough about it to talk about it openly, and in an entirely unlecherous (seeming) manner.
The first day we met, we broached the topic of sex. I thought
the sculpture in front of the Safeway near my house was of two people having sex (normal), he thought it was two people having sex (anal), and Minty my housemate thought (rightly) that it was of two people holding hands. And today, as we walked up and down town, we talked about sex (on occasions) in a very frank manner which I found very refreshing. On seeing a bathtub at Liberty's, Sam expounded on his visions for sharing the bathtub with his girlfriend, where his legs and her legs will be placed; and Z my other housemate responded with his own permutations. And we went into sex shops together. Sam picked up an explicit Kama Sutra book and flipped through the pages and the three of us happily peered at it from beside him. Comments abounded: "I really like this book. It's educational and quite classy", "Wow... his penis can bend. How cool is that! Can they actually bend in real life?", "Is that like the average size or is that big?", "Isn't she a bit flat?", "Why are they in that position? It looks painful", "Is he in her butt or is it the normal one?" Looked at sex toys, talked about the different kind of sex toys: "Hey look at this one! What do you think it's for??" Pondered about what fit into a cock ring (how do you put it in, get it out, will it hurt?), dildoes, S&M, anal beads, oral sex... throughout the course of the day, whenever we talked about it, it was really relaxing and open (except when I quizzed him on his porn-watching habits), which was uber cool. It's fun to be crazy stupid and silly about stuff in a frank, open and easy-going manner, and amazing that we could all do that in such a short space of time. Sex is just sex, there's no need to go crazy and get all uncomfortable about it. Plus, as far as I'm concerned, the more I talk about it, the less I think about it, which works wonderfully for me. I guess the openness and level of trust is the result of a friendship that has spanned a decade. And apparently, the holy grail of a perfectly platonic and open male best friend is attainable.
I'm still looking for my perfect best guy friend (who plays the gay best friend role, except that he can be straight). I have a friend who might fit the role. But if the magic number is ten, then we have four more years to go, even then, seven and a half of our ten years of friendship would have been long-distance. Ooh... actually, there's actually a boy I've known for ten years. But we're not as close as I am with the other boy. Wow. Ten years is a lot of history.
Anyway, Sam is crazy hilarious only only because of the whole sex thing, but also he has all kinds of crazy ideas, spouts kooky gibberish, and is an endless fountain of fantastical notions. He is actually properly mad, which reminds me a bit of myself really. The way he daydreams of sitting in the bathtub with his girlfriend and having her legs between his, or the way he thinks it's romantic to kiss at traffic lights while waiting for the light to turn green. When I heard that, I burst out laughing, not in mocking, but in recognition. I never thought of it as being particularly romantic, but my ex-boy and I have apparently definitely kissed at traffic lights, because a classmate once accused me of "shamelessly" "making out" at the traffic light near school in full school uniform. I don't remember that specifically, but I know we were all over each other, all over town, in every possible place and every imaginable way.
I remember in the early days. We were at a hawker centre in Chinatown at night. He pulled me onto his lap, and I sat on him, my legs wrapped around his hips, and we were kissing. I became aware that we were in full public view, and the surrounding aunties and uncles were staring at us disapprovingly. I was suddenly shy. I pulled away and buried my face in his shoulder. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" he asked. I kept my face buried and whispered in a small voice: "People are looking. Isn't it wrong to do this in front of old people (I was imagining what my parents or family elders would say if they knew). And we're in uniform... we're ruining the school reputation." He lifted my head and took my face in his hands, "Who cares? They don't know us." I hesitated for a moment, because I felt awkward, then decided to ignore the hostile glares and happily continued. I also remember the way we'd jump on each other whenever the lift doors closed and we were alone, and the way we'd spring apart as if jolted by electricity when the doors opened to let someone in, and how we'd smile into each others eyes, only to fuse together again when the doors closed. I don't remember ever feeling so much alive.
For the longest time, I used to be angry and bitter when people did the whole PDA (public display of affection) thing. Yeah... go ahead, rub it in! How I would have hated the couple we were then - so ostentatiously in love! But now, I'm able to smile at public displays of affections. When people kiss by the roadside, or are obviously in love, I smile and feel my heart lift. Because love is such a wonderful thing.
And so Sam's anticipation of the day he will kiss his girl at the traffic light while waiting for the lights to change made me laugh. I laughed for the innocence and exuberance of the two young lovers that my boy and I were, me seventeen, him eighteen, because the memories bring me joy. And I smiled in fondness for Sam, at his idealism, and his daydreams, the way I used to and still do dream, the way I still hold on to my ideal of love. I wish him love, and a girl who can make love as alive for him as he has always dreamt of.
***So we were walking along past Hyde Park, along the River Thames with its dark rippling, across the windy bridge with the hazy night lights in the distance, around the London Eye and bare trees lit in dreamy blue lights. London can actually be a very beautiful and romantic city. It's really a such pity I have no boyfriend.
***On a ditzy note, I'm pleased as punch cos I got a wonderful, unexpected compliment from Sam!! I was showing him a picture of my team at work, cos there's this French girl who I think is really pretty. So I showed him the pic and asked him, do you think she's pretty?
He's like: "No. But this girl [*points at the girl next to the French girl*], she's really.."
I look at the person he was pointing to and rudely interrupted: "That's me lah you idiot!" (Yes, that's the first day I've officially met him. Really smooth, I know.)
He stopped halfway: "Oh! I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to.. ... But I really thought she looked pretty, especially her eyes!"
I was awesomely happy inside of course. It's been like... Months since I've gotten a compliment. Plus, my favourite facial feature had always been my eyes. The best thing was it was all so unexpected... I rather don't see why he should have been apologetic. But being me, since I'm so awful at dealing with compliments, I turned around, mock-scolded him and acted all gruff: "You didn't recognise me, so now you think I'm ugly in real life lah? Ceh.. trying to score points with me.. [here, again I faltered. I decided it sounded too thick-skinned to imply he would want to score points with me... and then went with] just because you're staying in my house."
Note to self: Deal with compliments better. Try not to scold guys/ill treat them when they are nice to you.
***Other stuff I want to write about:
* Friday night with Ditzy Fitzy/why I now sometimes like living in London/missing the carefree girly girl's life
* Why I've decided I want to marry after all (and the conditions under which that would hold)
* The difference between a boss and a lover
* Wanting The Ring - another perspective
***Note:
1) No. Despite the fact the we were all over each other, No, it wasn't only a physical thing between the boy and I. Far from it. It was always an emotional thing.
2) No, I don't like Sam romantically. But I think he's sweet.
